THE TEST SHOT

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11 posts tagged Felix

Felix’s Test Shoot

Felix is a writer, drummer and a barber. For one day during this rainy and grey London summer, the sun shone and  LGW got some beautiful shots of Felix in his back garden, including perhaps this summer’s only swimsuit edition (!) .You can follow Felix’s transition here.  And do check out his personal blog.

I’m really into vests at the moment. I’m not sure how many I have, but it’s definitely over ten. Since I had top surgery, and the weather has been warm, I’ve been in vests most of the time. It feels liberating, joyful, free.

In terms of how I define myself, I would say that I’m a trans* boy. I feel much happier being read as male and pronouned as male, but I wouldn’t say that I’m just a man, or a bloke, or anything like that. The term ftm (female to male) doesn’t really for for me, as I don’t see it as going from one finite thing to another. For me it’s finding a way of moving through the world that I feel happy with, it’s fluid and evolving. It just happens to be a bit different from what I was assigned at birth, or what certain biological things about me would suggest at first. It’s a constant journey, every day things change and I grow, and being on testosterone changes you in so many minute and complicated ways. My emotional landscape, my physical body, how I relate to the world and others, it’s a big thing. Top surgery has changed my life, it finally feels like my body is my own, how I want it to be.

My clothes are generally about what I think looks good and what is comfortable. I have lots of jeans, t-shirts and vests for everyday wear. But I pick them out carefully, and colour code them in my drawers. I like jeans to be on the skinny side. I like plain t-shirts in dark colours, or with a nice pattern, or of bands I really like. I’ve had the same type of plain black Vans lace ups for years, I just buy a new pair when they get too old. They go with everything and they are super comfortable. I also have lots of formal shirts and ties and bow ties, and I like the feeling of a top button being done up. I think it’s important to be to be dapper when the occasion calls for it. I’m very short sighted, but I’ve grown to love my glasses. I like my hair to be short and a little messy, but with the option to make it neat. I used to worry about my clothes making me look more male, so I’d be pronouned correctly, but in recent months I’ve got more confident, and worn the gold leggings and tight tops that I shunned as an awkward teenager. I guess I want people to look at me and think, he looks cool, happy in his skin.

I think style is really personal, and when people are themselves and happy, that’s when they are at their most stylish. I’m all for expression, in whatever form it takes. People should do what makes their heart sing, everyday.